Here’s what rocks about turning in a two-week notice: a lot of free stuff. I have been taken out to lunch four different times, have two happy hours scheduled, and have been given teacher trinkets and books for my month off. I’ve learned that people are actually bummed to see me go and so they want to, you know, do something kind. Instead of purchasing myself coffee, I’ve learned to wait thirty minutes. In that time, someone is bound to get on the elevator for coffee. If I make eye contact and smile before the elevator arrives, they will think to themselves, “Gee, Nicole’s leaving and I sure will miss her…” and two seconds later, I’m being asked what kind of coffee I like. Carmel latte, please. It's worked for a week straight.
I should have turned in a four-week notice. I think I missed out on a lot of free food.
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As a completely random thought, I was browsing Powell's website and noticed the top five bestsellers at the moment are four Harry Potter books and a Pottery Barn book. It's like people were thinking HarryPotter, HarryPotter, HarryPotter, Pottery Barn, HarryPotter. And all the people went home and collectively said shit! How did that happen?!
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3 comments:
Haha this is David Stagg, the one you shared your high school graduation party with ;)
Also, I must say, you are freaking hilarious. I love reading your stuff. You should write a Common Man's Guide to Treehugging. I'd read the hell out of it.
This is too funny. Way to score the free food. I'm pretty sure all I'll get when I leave here in someone flipping me off for going to the competition.
That's so strange. There's gotta be something to that. The pottery barn founders must be thanking their lucky stars a boy wizard was named after them. Who actually goes to powell's looking for a pottery barn book?
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