Made it Home

I made it back from Texas last night. Just as I said I would, I brought home 14 pints of Blue Bell ice cream. It was a bit more challenging than I anticipated, though. My mom and Katy have both carried ice cream on to planes before, and all within the past year. Neither one of them had issues, so I didn’t expect to either. WELL. After I put my cooler on the conveyor belt, I look up to see TSA Lady #1 staring at her monitor. She looks at me, looks at the screen, and yells out, “Bag check!!” I tell her it’s okay, it’s just frozen ice cream with a bit of dry ice ,which yes, it is okay to carry on less than 5 pounds of dry ice (mama researched it). Well, that’s when she gave me evil eyes and said, “No, this bag isn’t going past security.”

This is the part when my passion for ice cream develops into anger at TSA. Because like I’ve said before, nobody gets in the way of me and my Blue Bell. I explain that my mom did this two months ago, and my friend did it a year ago, and can you just let me move on? At this point, I’ve been handed off to TSA Lady # 2 who is told to handle me.

And this is when I put on my bitch face. I start ranting that if only TSA remained consistent with their rules and regulations then maybe I’d take this stupid homeland security thing a bit more seriously. I am then handed off to TSA Lady # 3, who takes my cooler and walks me out. She says I have to check it in, which, fine, whatever, I can do that. But then she says that it’s going to cost me $70 since I’ve already checked two bags, and oh yeah, there’s a dry ice handling fee. So of course this sends me over the edge, and I start to cry.

I go all the way outside to the curbside check-in because the man who processed my bags the first time around was so kind to me. I walk up, teary-eyed and pathetic and beaten down and he just looks at me and says, “No worries.” He took my bag, didn’t ask for money, and just smiled and said have a great flight. I had to go back through security, and is anybody shocked to learn I was patted down and searched?

This morning I sent an email to Continental and told them how lovely their employee, Mark, was. And then I got up, opened my freezer, and just marveled at all the beautiful pints, relieved to see they made it here safely.

And for the record, I’m all for TSA -- IF ONLY THEY WERE CONSISTENT!