How to Feel Like an Accomplished Housewife

What a lovely weekend. Good friends, good food, good TV. (OHMYGOD, has anybody seen the show Weeds? It's the best new thing in my life right. Unbelievably addicting, which I think is all cute and appropriate since you know, it's about pot. So, if you haven't seen it, run to Blockbuster right now or throw it in your queue and cancel any other plans you might have. You're welcome.)

(And also, Mary-Louise Parker should totally be my BFF. We could sit around and talk about how cute her big brown eyes are or how much I want to look and dress like her, or haha you sell drugs and you're a mom and I can't separate fact from fiction, but whatever! We're BFF!!)

Anyway.

We went to a wedding this weekend that was one of the most adorable and classy weddings I've ever attended. And I love going to weddings. Everyone is so happy, and it's the only time Matt will really go out and dance with me. I wish I could go to a wedding every weekend. Except at this last wedding I spilled red wine all down my dress. I would like to go to a wedding every weekend and not make a fool of myself.

This was especially embarrassing because it was at the very beginning of the reception. It was my second glass, and I hadn't even had a sip out of it yet. But I was also famished and my mind was entirely focused on getting the cheese and cracker into my mouth while still holding my purse, cardigan, and glass of wine. It was a tricky move that didn't work out. All of a sudden I felt something very cold trickle down my entire dress. Just lovely.

I went to the bathroom to try and salvage my poor dress, and somehow, miracle of miracles, it worked. The stain practically vanished. I have been playing housewife for two weeks now, and I have already conquered red wine stains in emergency situations.

I am so domestic. I think it's time I go out back and pick apples from our tree and make a pie.

Don't think I'm kidding.


Just seconds before I added stripes to my dress.