Reason Number ONE BILLON Why I Need A New Gig

A very important person in the office asked me to proof a letter he wrote. Now this person has notoriously awful grammar. I understand grammar mistakes happen – you make them, I make them, we all make them. Sometimes I even make them on purpose. Like fragmenting a sentence to convey a thought. But people – you’re not supposed to embrace grammar errors.

This person embraces all things wrong.

First sentence of the letter: Welcome back, hope your vacation was enjoyed and relaxing.

And my take: Welcome back -- I hope your vacation was enjoyable and relaxing.

I know there’s some passive voice going on that probably should have been fixed, but I know this person would have disagreed with me, demanded a change, and hit me with a chair. I had to be super conservative in my mark-ups. I mean, I am at the very bottom of the totem pole here. Beneath the surface of it, in fact. (I know that’s a fragment. It’s my style, yo.) I’ve lost my point.

Oh. So this very important person read the first sentence with my changes and said:

“You changed enjoyed. I liked it better enjoyed.”

And I just stood there. No response. Waiting for my cue to get the hell out of the office.

Later, I told my co-worker this story. I said, "When I'm boss, I'm going to demand all my employees use proper grammar." And then I realized I just described being an English teacher.