The beautiful thing that happens when I teach preschoolers is that they end up teaching me. A few months back, I was in the preschool room, which is really a section of a basketball gym, making my teacher rounds by playing trains, drawing flowers, putting a baby doll to sleep. I walked over to the reading corner where two of my favorite girls were sitting. The first girl, Pam, said she didn’t feel well. I thought to myself she probably just wanted her mom, but before I could say anything Bellie jumped in first.
“Pammy, can I pray for you?” And after Pam said yes, Bellie scrunched her eyes shut, rested her hands palms up on her knees, and asked Jesus to help Pam feel better.
And of course, I started crying. I don’t remember the last time I was humbled so fast.
When was the last time my first response to an ache, a problem, a need was to pray? Has it ever been?
So in the midst of all my unknowns right now, I think of gorgeous Bellie. Her reaction to a friend wasn’t to worry or to feel apathetic or to even be afraid. It was to pray. I want to pray. Just like a little girl with big faith.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
What Do You Mean It's Just Fiction? or On Losing a Mentor
(Talking about Harry Potter. Yes, there's a spoiler, but it's been four years, read the book already!)
During my internship four years ago, one of the classes I taught was a senior AP Lit class that only had fifteen students. It was the kind of class I always dreamed about teaching one day, and I secretly felt sad whenever the bell rang. That spring I had just finished reading the Harry Potter series for the first time, and the sixth book was about to come out that summer. My AP Lit class, made up of supremely awesome, nerdy book-lovers, would discuss all things Harry Potter during the last five minutes of class each day. We shared theories, favorite moments, and predictions. At some point that semester, I commented that I wanted to one day be a teacher just like Dumbledore: wise, compassionate, and loved.
The last day of my internship also happened to be my 22nd birthday. The students came in with goofy grins and whispers. I walked over to the desks to see what was going on, and they all shouted out, “Happy birthday!” I looked down to see a big cookie cake with the words Happy Birthday Professor Dumbledore! written in thick, gooey icing. Truly, my fellow Harry Potter fans, my bright and kind students, had given me one of the best compliments of my lifetime. I only wish I would have had a camera to capture it.
When the sixth book came out, I was a newly-wed and we were about to move across the country. I finished the book one afternoon while Matt was at work. When he came home, he found me curled up in our bed sobbing. We should all know the horrific event that led me to totally lose my shit and go into mourning. (Okay fine, for those of you that didn’t read the series, sigh: Dumbledore dies.) Matt reacted as any new husband might: utterly and totally freaked out. I don’t quite remember how he handled the situation, but my guess is that it probably involved Chili’s.
So the reason why it took us two weeks to see the sixth Harry Potter should not be surprising. While everyone else seemed excited, I felt nervous and apprehensive. We finally went and saw it this weekend. And once again, HOLY HELL, LOST MY SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE, BIG TIME, CRAZY GIRL COMING THROUGH. It was bad enough to read it, but to see it on screen? Unbearable heartache. And unfortunately for me, the movie theater was on the fourth floor of the mall, which made it especially awkward to walk through with my mascara-streaked face and swollen eyes.
So here’s my review for the movie: yes, it was good, but don’t ever make me watch it again.
During my internship four years ago, one of the classes I taught was a senior AP Lit class that only had fifteen students. It was the kind of class I always dreamed about teaching one day, and I secretly felt sad whenever the bell rang. That spring I had just finished reading the Harry Potter series for the first time, and the sixth book was about to come out that summer. My AP Lit class, made up of supremely awesome, nerdy book-lovers, would discuss all things Harry Potter during the last five minutes of class each day. We shared theories, favorite moments, and predictions. At some point that semester, I commented that I wanted to one day be a teacher just like Dumbledore: wise, compassionate, and loved.
The last day of my internship also happened to be my 22nd birthday. The students came in with goofy grins and whispers. I walked over to the desks to see what was going on, and they all shouted out, “Happy birthday!” I looked down to see a big cookie cake with the words Happy Birthday Professor Dumbledore! written in thick, gooey icing. Truly, my fellow Harry Potter fans, my bright and kind students, had given me one of the best compliments of my lifetime. I only wish I would have had a camera to capture it.
When the sixth book came out, I was a newly-wed and we were about to move across the country. I finished the book one afternoon while Matt was at work. When he came home, he found me curled up in our bed sobbing. We should all know the horrific event that led me to totally lose my shit and go into mourning. (Okay fine, for those of you that didn’t read the series, sigh: Dumbledore dies.) Matt reacted as any new husband might: utterly and totally freaked out. I don’t quite remember how he handled the situation, but my guess is that it probably involved Chili’s.
So the reason why it took us two weeks to see the sixth Harry Potter should not be surprising. While everyone else seemed excited, I felt nervous and apprehensive. We finally went and saw it this weekend. And once again, HOLY HELL, LOST MY SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE, BIG TIME, CRAZY GIRL COMING THROUGH. It was bad enough to read it, but to see it on screen? Unbearable heartache. And unfortunately for me, the movie theater was on the fourth floor of the mall, which made it especially awkward to walk through with my mascara-streaked face and swollen eyes.
So here’s my review for the movie: yes, it was good, but don’t ever make me watch it again.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Well, Hm.
There's something very odd about being congratulated for filing unemployment. Here's how I interpret it:
Congratulations! You're only 26 and you've been laid off!!
Congratulations! You've got lots of school debt for a degree that can't get you a job!!
Congratulations! You're back at square one!!
Congratulations! If it wasn't for your husband, you'd either be living with your parents or in a gutter with feces on your face!!
Clearly, this calls for a celebration. I'm going straight to my backyard with a bottle of wine and a good book. Come on over!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
All Because of the Kitchen Blinds
Last week, I was cleaning the kitchen and quite suddenly I became totally disgusted with our blinds. I spent a good portion of my afternoon attempting to clean them, but FAIL.
So of course, OF COURSE, I couldn't stop thinking about them. Seriously, who knew I could become nauseous over blinds? We had a gift card to Ikea, so we went to get some nice, new blinds (Am I really writing about blinds? God help me.) Only, Ikea didn't have what we wanted for the kitchen, but they did have some nice curtains for the dining area! And we should go ahead and replace those blinds, too! I'm sure they're nasty!
We came for blinds, but we left with three different types of curtains to choose from, a salad spinner, and a floor mat (spending only $20 of our own!). Matt put up the new curtains, and while we loved them, it suddenly threw off our decor in the living area. Those curtains were too green now. But how convenient! We had also purchased some light green curtains that we were going to take back, but why not use them!
So Matt then replaced our living room curtains. Only, those blinds started to disgust us, too. An hour later and we had new wood blinds from Home Depot. We had planned on doing this some day; we just didn't realize it would be THAT day.
We had these bright green square tile things from West Elm that hung on the wall connecting the dining area to the living area. The pattern on them, though, looked terrible next to the new dining curtains. We took them down and stared at the huge empty wall space. It needed something. Two days later, and we found three large shutter doors to rest against the wall. Reused from The Rebuilding Center, they were only $25 (compared to $200 at Pottery Barn).
Next home improvement project? I need to paint that armoire. I love the wood shutters, but it's too much next to the wood armoire. It was cheap, and we're not crazy about it, so next week I'm going to paint. What color do you think it should be?
Also, the dark furniture is an espresso color, not black like the picture makes it look.
And one more thing. Those beautiful flowers? Those are from our garden. Matt picked them, which is all sorts of special. My dad does the same thing for my mama.
So of course, OF COURSE, I couldn't stop thinking about them. Seriously, who knew I could become nauseous over blinds? We had a gift card to Ikea, so we went to get some nice, new blinds (Am I really writing about blinds? God help me.) Only, Ikea didn't have what we wanted for the kitchen, but they did have some nice curtains for the dining area! And we should go ahead and replace those blinds, too! I'm sure they're nasty!
We came for blinds, but we left with three different types of curtains to choose from, a salad spinner, and a floor mat (spending only $20 of our own!). Matt put up the new curtains, and while we loved them, it suddenly threw off our decor in the living area. Those curtains were too green now. But how convenient! We had also purchased some light green curtains that we were going to take back, but why not use them!
So Matt then replaced our living room curtains. Only, those blinds started to disgust us, too. An hour later and we had new wood blinds from Home Depot. We had planned on doing this some day; we just didn't realize it would be THAT day.
We had these bright green square tile things from West Elm that hung on the wall connecting the dining area to the living area. The pattern on them, though, looked terrible next to the new dining curtains. We took them down and stared at the huge empty wall space. It needed something. Two days later, and we found three large shutter doors to rest against the wall. Reused from The Rebuilding Center, they were only $25 (compared to $200 at Pottery Barn).
Next home improvement project? I need to paint that armoire. I love the wood shutters, but it's too much next to the wood armoire. It was cheap, and we're not crazy about it, so next week I'm going to paint. What color do you think it should be?
Also, the dark furniture is an espresso color, not black like the picture makes it look.
And one more thing. Those beautiful flowers? Those are from our garden. Matt picked them, which is all sorts of special. My dad does the same thing for my mama.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
And I Have Another Pair At Home!
Today I met my sweet friend Jessica for lunch. It was kind of a last minute thing, so I scrambled around to get ready and get out the door. Because Matt is out of town, I’ve accumulated a few pairs of flip-flops next to the couch. I got dressed in my bedroom, did a once-over in the mirror, slipped on my shoes in the other room, and scooted out the door.
I was about five minutes away from the restaurant when it dawned on me that I didn’t actually pay attention to my shoes. I thought, "now wouldn’t that be something if…" I looked to my left and saw my brown leather flip-flop with gold trim. I looked to my right and saw my black leather flip-flop with a flower on top.
Well, DAMN.
My pair of shoes didn't match. I’ve always wondered how the hell people do this sort of thing, and looky-here. I managed to pull it off without explanation. I ran through a list of scenarios that could have made it worse: could’ve worn my skinny jeans, could’ve worn a dress, could’ve worn a flat and a flop. Thankfully, I was wearing a pair of jeans that, if I walk carefully, I can hide most of my feet and show off just my toes.
(Also, this is the same pair of jeans I bought with Amber, who, after putting them on and realizing they’re a bit snug, I called to ask if we bought them last year or the year before. She said last year. DOUBLE DAMN!)
Anyway, I walked into the restaurant and slid into my chair without anyone noticing. I confessed to Jess the truth, and as she looked under the table we shared a good, long laugh.
Honestly, I think my brain is turning to mush. I have a lot of free time on my hands; I clean, I run errands, I cook, I read… and there’s still a lot of free time. It’s not too difficult managing a two-person household. So, uh… suggestions? How can I keep my brain from sloshing out my ears? Suggest things to blog, hobbies to pick up, places to go, things to do. My brain clearly needs a kick-start. HELP.
I was about five minutes away from the restaurant when it dawned on me that I didn’t actually pay attention to my shoes. I thought, "now wouldn’t that be something if…" I looked to my left and saw my brown leather flip-flop with gold trim. I looked to my right and saw my black leather flip-flop with a flower on top.
Well, DAMN.
My pair of shoes didn't match. I’ve always wondered how the hell people do this sort of thing, and looky-here. I managed to pull it off without explanation. I ran through a list of scenarios that could have made it worse: could’ve worn my skinny jeans, could’ve worn a dress, could’ve worn a flat and a flop. Thankfully, I was wearing a pair of jeans that, if I walk carefully, I can hide most of my feet and show off just my toes.
(Also, this is the same pair of jeans I bought with Amber, who, after putting them on and realizing they’re a bit snug, I called to ask if we bought them last year or the year before. She said last year. DOUBLE DAMN!)
Anyway, I walked into the restaurant and slid into my chair without anyone noticing. I confessed to Jess the truth, and as she looked under the table we shared a good, long laugh.
Honestly, I think my brain is turning to mush. I have a lot of free time on my hands; I clean, I run errands, I cook, I read… and there’s still a lot of free time. It’s not too difficult managing a two-person household. So, uh… suggestions? How can I keep my brain from sloshing out my ears? Suggest things to blog, hobbies to pick up, places to go, things to do. My brain clearly needs a kick-start. HELP.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Getting Things Running Again
My blog has been quiet for some time now. I've got a lot running through my mind blahblahblah laid off blahblah, so to get all the blah off my mind, I'm going to take a cue from others. Here are things that are totally making me smile right now:
1. Among other things, I planted broccoli two weeks ago, and it's flowering! I love seeing the progress, and I feel proud like a mama.
2. On Thursdays, I take yoga, so Matt is in charge of dinner. My yoga instructor says it's good karma, but I think it's just having a killer husband.
3. But since Matt is out tonight, I ate a bowl of ice cream and had a beer for dinner. It was delicious, although I do think it negates my yoga.
4. A few days ago, we saw a man running on the sidewalk and LITERALLY stopped to smell the roses. It was amazing, and we both sat speechless and then had a good laugh. I don't ever want to forget that image, so I'm filing it away under PERFECT.
5. I had a delightful birthday complete with tulips from the parents, an amazing dinner, a brand new bike, and a day off work. (Those sick days expire, you know!)
6. We started reading Catcher in the Rye today. Few things make me happier than to hear my kids laugh out loud at literature.
7. In less than two months, I will get to see my little brother graduate high school, host a wedding shower for my little sister, and travel with my husband to Italy.
8. Knowing that God cares more about who I am, instead of what I do.
That seems like a good thing to end on, yes?
1. Among other things, I planted broccoli two weeks ago, and it's flowering! I love seeing the progress, and I feel proud like a mama.
2. On Thursdays, I take yoga, so Matt is in charge of dinner. My yoga instructor says it's good karma, but I think it's just having a killer husband.
3. But since Matt is out tonight, I ate a bowl of ice cream and had a beer for dinner. It was delicious, although I do think it negates my yoga.
4. A few days ago, we saw a man running on the sidewalk and LITERALLY stopped to smell the roses. It was amazing, and we both sat speechless and then had a good laugh. I don't ever want to forget that image, so I'm filing it away under PERFECT.
5. I had a delightful birthday complete with tulips from the parents, an amazing dinner, a brand new bike, and a day off work. (Those sick days expire, you know!)
6. We started reading Catcher in the Rye today. Few things make me happier than to hear my kids laugh out loud at literature.
7. In less than two months, I will get to see my little brother graduate high school, host a wedding shower for my little sister, and travel with my husband to Italy.
8. Knowing that God cares more about who I am, instead of what I do.
That seems like a good thing to end on, yes?
Monday, March 9, 2009
Summer, Please.
Yesterday, while I was making grilled cheese for lunch, I grabbed the leftover bottle of wine sitting on the shelf and took a big swig. Wine dripped from my chin, and Matt stared. It had been that kind of weekend.
It’s been that kind of month.
Granted, I did it to make Matt laugh. But the point is we needed to laugh badly. We’ve reached that point in Oregon where the weather is old and depressing. It’s still really cold, it’s still grey, and it’s still raining. Do you realize it snowed on my way to AND from work today? Well it did. Now, it’s just raining.
This is the last week of the trimester, and then I get a new batch of classes. After going through painful budget cuts and barely scraping past a layoff this month (thanks Obama!), I am looking forward to the change. New kids, no more nervous, edgy teacher, and better books. I’m excited and hopeful. But I could still use some – what do you people call it? OH. SUNSHINE.
It’s been that kind of month.
Granted, I did it to make Matt laugh. But the point is we needed to laugh badly. We’ve reached that point in Oregon where the weather is old and depressing. It’s still really cold, it’s still grey, and it’s still raining. Do you realize it snowed on my way to AND from work today? Well it did. Now, it’s just raining.
This is the last week of the trimester, and then I get a new batch of classes. After going through painful budget cuts and barely scraping past a layoff this month (thanks Obama!), I am looking forward to the change. New kids, no more nervous, edgy teacher, and better books. I’m excited and hopeful. But I could still use some – what do you people call it? OH. SUNSHINE.
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