Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Why Hello...

Amber did this little survey thing and called me out to join her. And because she is a wise woman, I’m going to do it. Also, today is her oldest son’s 4th birthday and I love him so, so much. On one of the worst days of the year for me, sweet Isaac told me I was the best woman ever. BEST COMPLIMENT EVER EVER. So happy birthday, Ike!

Anyhoo, I haven’t been blogging much because I haven’t felt like writing much. So here’s a list of 7 things that I would have posted earlier if I had been in the mood.

1. The other night I was flipping through a magazine and smelled something delicious. It was a perfume sample for Armani Code. I ripped it out and handed it to Matt (hint, hint). He loved it, too, and jumped up and wiped it on my neck. I squealed out, “Stop! Stop!” and he confusedly did. I told him I needed to wear it tomorrow to test it out, and he thought this was hilarious. Is this odd behavior on my part? I never buy a perfume without test-wearing it first. Have I been wrong all these years with the perfume ads? Have I just totally admitted an embarrassing secret? Laugh all you want, I SMELL DAMN GOOD FOR FREE.

2. I think I might know where I got this idea, though. I received my first gift from a boy (I think his name was Dusty) in kindergarten. He walked up to me on the bus and said he wanted me to have it: a perfume ad sample from a magazine. Swoon.

3. And since I’ve already given you one great way to cut back costs in this tough economy, here’s another one. Now that it’s fall, I really want some new clothes. But we’ve got other expenses like plane tickets for the holidays to buy, so a shopping trip isn’t really a wise thing for me to do right now. I have bought a couple sweaters here and there, and I still like my clothes, so there’s no need for me to complain. PLUS, as a substitute, I go to different schools every day. And since I’m not a sweaty or messy person, I totally wear my outfit again the next day. Nobody knows! Except for you all, shhhh. The real reason I do this, though, is to save myself the ten minutes I spend in front of my closet tapping my chin wondering what to wear, what to wear.

4. But back to subbing. An awful thing happened the other day. I was subbing for a middle school reading teacher, and on the board in the teacher’s handwriting was this:
The less you talk, the more your listened too.
Oh. Hell. No. It bugged me all day long, but I finally worked up the courage to fix the mistakes at the end of the day. I did it for the kids, really. But then I stayed up late thinking about how that teacher probably hates me now.

5. I couldn’t fall asleep Sunday night, either, because I was thinking about something I might’ve done at church that morning. Every other week when I do the bills, I always write our offering check and slide it in my checkbook for church. When it’s time for the offering, I pull it out and briefly look at it to make sure everything’s correct. It’s just a little OCD thing I do. This past Sunday, though, Matt took it from me before I checked it and threw it in the basket. Immediately, I wanted to grab it out and look, but that’s not really acceptable. So I let it be. And then that night it dawned on me that I had also written a check to Katy that I hadn’t given her yet. That in the memo line I had jokingly written HOT LOVE. I panicked in bed until I finally got up to check. Thankfully, my church received the correct one. Katy, your check for HOT LOVE is in the mail.

6. Matt and I tried to nail down our favorite beers the other day, so here’s what I’ve got. Top Five Beers in no particular order, subject to change at any time:
* Broken Halo IPA
* Bridgeport Haymaker
*Full Sail Session
* Widmer or Pyramid Hefeweizen
* Mcmenamin’s Hammerhead or IPA

7. We’re going to Houston for Thanksgiving. We’re going to Arkansas for Christmas. I’m happy about these things.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your? YOUR???? What hope do children have if their TEACHERS don't know correct grammar? Oh, God, I want to quit my job this second and go teach grammar AT EVERY SCHOOL IN THE COUNTRY.

Anyway. Thanks for doing your part. The kids thank you also, I'm sure. Though, yeah, that teacher is probably pissed. A necessary sacrifice.

I love this post. More, please?

Anonymous said...

girl, i'm so happy you wrote something! i love reading your blog! it makes me laugh out loud in inappropriate places. :)

so did you just change your to you're? what about "to" ending the sentence? that's not cool either. though not nearly as egregious.

ps: i have a new blog, check it out.
pps: do you know anyone who works for mcmenamdfkljs, or however you spell it? for the music/entertainment side? lauren needs a job.

Nicole said...

Spring, I accidentally wrote it correctly (shame on me!), but she also wrote too instead of to. Awful!

jessica said...

Maybe the teacher is the same one that taught my fellow PCC students that New Hampshire is a city.

Unknown said...

Just a thought: what if that teacher is really not that stupid? What if she has the kids correct the grammar of a sentence like that every day? Like in a journal or something. Watch out!

Just kidding. I'm sure she really is that dumb. The kids should be grateful for their grammarian substitute.

I wish you would post more. You are a freaking hilarious blogger.

I can't wait to get my check for hot love.

Nicole said...

Katy, I DID think that maybe she made those mistakes on purpose, which is why I couldn't fall asleep that night. Ah well; you win some, you lose some.

Unknown said...

Oooh! This is a good game. Top 5 beers in no particular order:

1. Bud Light
2. Bud Light Lime
3. Keystone Light
4. Newcastle Brown Ale
5. Lone Star