A year ago, Matt and I went on vacation. I was working at that terrible terrible job, and I desperately needed to step away for a few days and get re-energized. I was miserably unhappy, so I thought some time off would help out. The day I returned to work was one of the worst days for me, though. After I got off, I walked around downtown to Matt's office crying. And not a hide-behind-my-glasses, cover-my-face-with-my-hair kinda crying; no, the mascara was streaky, my face was splotchy, and I was sobbing. And I didn't care. (I have to admit, it helped that there were plenty of crazy folks out that day also wandering about.) I knew at that moment I had had enough. That weekend Matt and I talked it through and I had a plan to quit and find my way into teaching.
We just got back from our Spring Break vacation a week ago and get this -- I was actually really excited to get back to work. Our last night of vacation I talked about how great it felt to love my job and that I felt so thankful. And my first day back was great. I caught up with my students, we started some great books, and I wore an awesome necklace. It was a very good day.
But now that I love my job, and my career is on the right path, I should be set, right? Well, because I was hired in November, my contract is temporary. This means, unlike most other teachers, my job is over at the end of the year unless I get rehired. I'm confident my principal likes me, and I know I've done a pretty good job, so I shouldn't be worried. Yesterday, though, my principal announced that enrollment is down by 130 kids and 8 positions will need to be cut. And since I'm a temporary teacher, my job is essentially the "cleanest" to cut. Which is really an awesome feeling.
I've been reading my prayers from the summer to remind myself of God's faithfulness. I'm trying to relax, but it's much easier to panic. I should be a pro at this whole trusting God thing at this point, but right now I'm just a pain in my own ass.
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5 comments:
Argh. This sucks. But maybe it will work out. I will pray.
Last year, my friend Lindsey was in the same position. She got hired mid-year to fill in for a kindergarten teacher out on maternity leave. At the end of the year, her contract was not renewed. And then, she got hired at another school thanks to her stellar performance and previous experience in the district.
I'm just sayin'. It worked out for her. I hope and pray and think it will work out for you. Just think, you have business cards AND experience now!
LOVE YOU.
First of all I Love you and can hardly wait to see you, 3 weeks and I will be there. Second, you know I have the biggest issue with trust,until I finally decided to listen to God's voice telling me to trust him, it's much easier now making my decisions about my health and now it rolls over to everything else in life. You know in your heart, everything will be alright, it's just our stupid head and Satan that tries to tell us differently.
Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message says it this way. Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.
Love You
Your Mama made me cry. I love you so much, Nicole. Just wait. He is way more faithful than we dream of being. He will follow through.
i miss you too. your car was at my house while you were in mexico, which is the closest i've been to seeing you in a few months....
i understand your concerns.....it's no fun to be in that wishy-washy never-never land of employment, when you're not quite sure how much longer it will last. but i know you've done a great job, and have most likely inspired an entire generation of high school students to become english majors.
Nic, look at the freaking lillies. They don't worry. That's my worship minister advise.
If they don't rehire you, sue them for age discrimination. That's my lawyer advice.
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