Here’s what rocks about turning in a two-week notice: a lot of free stuff. I have been taken out to lunch four different times, have two happy hours scheduled, and have been given teacher trinkets and books for my month off. I’ve learned that people are actually bummed to see me go and so they want to, you know, do something kind. Instead of purchasing myself coffee, I’ve learned to wait thirty minutes. In that time, someone is bound to get on the elevator for coffee. If I make eye contact and smile before the elevator arrives, they will think to themselves, “Gee, Nicole’s leaving and I sure will miss her…” and two seconds later, I’m being asked what kind of coffee I like. Carmel latte, please. It's worked for a week straight.
I should have turned in a four-week notice. I think I missed out on a lot of free food.
---
As a completely random thought, I was browsing Powell's website and noticed the top five bestsellers at the moment are four Harry Potter books and a Pottery Barn book. It's like people were thinking HarryPotter, HarryPotter, HarryPotter, Pottery Barn, HarryPotter. And all the people went home and collectively said shit! How did that happen?!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
No Spoilers Here
Oh, Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry.
Perfect. Just perfect.
So Friday evening, we had dinner with several of our neighbors. Matt and I knew we had to leave by ten, though, and the entire hour leading up to that I was a total dud. I couldn't think of anything else other that THE SEVENTH BOOK WAS ALMOST HERE. None of them are Harry Potter fans, so I was trying to be kind with my departure, but THE SEVENTH BOOK WAS ALMOST HERE! By 10:15, we ditched them and were on our way to the party at Powell's.
We showed up around 10:30 and found the end of the line. It seemed terribly long, and it was, but I have never experienced a faster moving line. We were in and out by 12:30, which I think is quite impressive, considering the line weaved through every aisle. We got our copies and ran out to the car to GET HOME. Such an exciting weekend, to know this was the only chance to find everything out on your own, before everyone in the world knows. So magical.
And the weeknd? KICKED ASS.
Perfect. Just perfect.
So Friday evening, we had dinner with several of our neighbors. Matt and I knew we had to leave by ten, though, and the entire hour leading up to that I was a total dud. I couldn't think of anything else other that THE SEVENTH BOOK WAS ALMOST HERE. None of them are Harry Potter fans, so I was trying to be kind with my departure, but THE SEVENTH BOOK WAS ALMOST HERE! By 10:15, we ditched them and were on our way to the party at Powell's.
We showed up around 10:30 and found the end of the line. It seemed terribly long, and it was, but I have never experienced a faster moving line. We were in and out by 12:30, which I think is quite impressive, considering the line weaved through every aisle. We got our copies and ran out to the car to GET HOME. Such an exciting weekend, to know this was the only chance to find everything out on your own, before everyone in the world knows. So magical.
And the weeknd? KICKED ASS.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Being Thankful
There are about a million things I won’t miss about my job. I don’t need to list all the awful things that made me seriously consider jamming a pen up my nose and pulling it through my eyeball. But, I cannot deny the fact that I am unbelievably grateful for my experience because of what it taught me. And that has to do with the environment.
I’m a sucker for mentors, and any time a wiser, older person wants to invest some time in me, I’m all over it. At work, there were two women who took me under their wings and opened my eyes to all things green. They’re both extremely influential in the company, and they’re both extremely intelligent. One of them sent me to a class in California to learn more; another let me research and write papers informing others how to live green. They both let me take part in important meetings that discussed issues like climate change and greenhouse gasses and sustainable investments. They don’t believe in God, but they profoundly affected my faith.
Matt and I did a complete turn-around with our life after I started my job. We live with an eco-conscience, meaning we question the things we do and buy in relation to the earth. Sometimes I don’t think my parents recognize us. I may hate my job, but I am filled with gratitude for the two women that taught me how to take care of creation.
Sometimes it really pisses me off that JBU never discussed this as an issue. We had hot topic chapels that discussed gasp! homosexuals, but did we ever discuss a believer’s role in caring for creation? Live Earth took place a few weeks ago, and regardless what you think about its impact on resources, it did raise some awareness. I was pretty indifferent to Live Earth, but like my mentor at work said, “Anything to get people thinking twice.” But there was a moment while watching a concert that I got really sad – it seemed like this was a movement that believers of God and creation should have started ages ago. I mean, if we’re going to be bold and claim that this planet and these people are His creation, then shouldn’t we be leading the pack when it comes to taking care of it?
Thank God somebody is leading.
I know I don’t look the part of a tree-hugger. That’s because I’m not. The only high maintenance thing that I cut out from my life when we moved up here was that I don’t wear fake nails anymore. (That’s not to say I don’t want to, though.) But that’s the thing – there’s not a certain look to loving the earth. Recycling or changing your light bulbs or riding the bus or praying for earth-friendly legislature doesn’t mean you’re a hippie or a liberal or Captain Planet himself – it hopefully means you’re just one person hoping to leave the world a little bit tidier than when you first showed up. And that's not really asking too much.
I’m a sucker for mentors, and any time a wiser, older person wants to invest some time in me, I’m all over it. At work, there were two women who took me under their wings and opened my eyes to all things green. They’re both extremely influential in the company, and they’re both extremely intelligent. One of them sent me to a class in California to learn more; another let me research and write papers informing others how to live green. They both let me take part in important meetings that discussed issues like climate change and greenhouse gasses and sustainable investments. They don’t believe in God, but they profoundly affected my faith.
Matt and I did a complete turn-around with our life after I started my job. We live with an eco-conscience, meaning we question the things we do and buy in relation to the earth. Sometimes I don’t think my parents recognize us. I may hate my job, but I am filled with gratitude for the two women that taught me how to take care of creation.
Sometimes it really pisses me off that JBU never discussed this as an issue. We had hot topic chapels that discussed gasp! homosexuals, but did we ever discuss a believer’s role in caring for creation? Live Earth took place a few weeks ago, and regardless what you think about its impact on resources, it did raise some awareness. I was pretty indifferent to Live Earth, but like my mentor at work said, “Anything to get people thinking twice.” But there was a moment while watching a concert that I got really sad – it seemed like this was a movement that believers of God and creation should have started ages ago. I mean, if we’re going to be bold and claim that this planet and these people are His creation, then shouldn’t we be leading the pack when it comes to taking care of it?
Thank God somebody is leading.
I know I don’t look the part of a tree-hugger. That’s because I’m not. The only high maintenance thing that I cut out from my life when we moved up here was that I don’t wear fake nails anymore. (That’s not to say I don’t want to, though.) But that’s the thing – there’s not a certain look to loving the earth. Recycling or changing your light bulbs or riding the bus or praying for earth-friendly legislature doesn’t mean you’re a hippie or a liberal or Captain Planet himself – it hopefully means you’re just one person hoping to leave the world a little bit tidier than when you first showed up. And that's not really asking too much.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Hermione VS. Sabrina
My sister is not a Harry Potter fan, much to my disappointment. Her boyfriend is, though, thank God. She called last Friday, when Matt and I were on our way to the Delta Cafe for some good ol' fried food, to let us know she would be watching the first HP film that evening. Her boyfriend, John, planned a HP marathon before he took her to see #5 in the theater. Bless his sweet soul.
I told Steph I thought she'd enjoy them, if only she'd give them a chance. She responded, "Yeah, you're probably right. I do really love Sabrina the Teenage Witch."
And I really love my sister.
I told Steph I thought she'd enjoy them, if only she'd give them a chance. She responded, "Yeah, you're probably right. I do really love Sabrina the Teenage Witch."
And I really love my sister.
Friday, July 13, 2007
The Beauty of Blue Bell
I feel much better today. Today I am excited and hopeful. In two weeks, I will be walking away from my terrible job for good. And the day after that, I will be flying to H-town to pick up some cake batter Blue Bell. I told my family I was coming to visit them, but I'm actually on a mission to bring back as much cake batter ice cream with me as possible. I was made to love this stuff.
When my mom visited two months ago, she brought a whole variety of Blue Bell pints with her. We still have a few in our freezer. One of them was cake batter, and ohmygod, the second it touched my mouth, I felt heaven. We totally got our church on, with all the Jesus-praising that happened in our kitchen. It's so good, it would make Nietzsche believe God was alive and kicking again -- if Nietzsche were alive and kicking. Matt and I committed to two spoonfuls a day, and we held to it. We finally ran out a few weeks ago, and it was a very sad moment. I wanted to dip my head in the container and lick the sides because surely, surely the taste had been absorbed. I didn't, though; I still have some of my dignity, thankyouverymuch.
But in two weeks and one day, I will be reunitied with the lovely cake batter ice cream. And I will stock up and bring some home, making sure to buy enough to share with friends. If you haven't tried it, go now. But if I run into you at the store, and there's only one pint left, I will kick you in the face. Nothing comes between me and my ice cream.
When my mom visited two months ago, she brought a whole variety of Blue Bell pints with her. We still have a few in our freezer. One of them was cake batter, and ohmygod, the second it touched my mouth, I felt heaven. We totally got our church on, with all the Jesus-praising that happened in our kitchen. It's so good, it would make Nietzsche believe God was alive and kicking again -- if Nietzsche were alive and kicking. Matt and I committed to two spoonfuls a day, and we held to it. We finally ran out a few weeks ago, and it was a very sad moment. I wanted to dip my head in the container and lick the sides because surely, surely the taste had been absorbed. I didn't, though; I still have some of my dignity, thankyouverymuch.
But in two weeks and one day, I will be reunitied with the lovely cake batter ice cream. And I will stock up and bring some home, making sure to buy enough to share with friends. If you haven't tried it, go now. But if I run into you at the store, and there's only one pint left, I will kick you in the face. Nothing comes between me and my ice cream.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I Did It!
I really quit. And it was not at all amazing like I thought it would be. I started to cry. Yes, I am that LAME. So here’s what happened:
I walked into his office, letter in hand. I gave it to my boss, and he said, “Why am I not surprised? So does this mean you got your teaching job?”
Enter tears. “No. I don’t have a job.” (What my boss heard was “I’M CRAZY! I’M QUITTING WITHOUT A NEW JOB AND HERE! PLEASE TAKE MY STEADY PAYCHECK BACK! I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER! [Or maybe that’s what I heard.])
Actually, he was very kind to me. He offered me tissue, but then he realized he was out. (Thought that counts, right?) I explained my somewhat solid plans for the future, which include grad school and substituting. We briefly talked about my time here; he apologized for not providing me with a more solid and challenging position and he wished me the best for the future. I feel relieved to be leaving my job, but there are a lot of people that I’m actually going to miss. Sure, I have lots of great stories about incompetent people, but this is an office of 130 – there are also plenty of fantastic people.
A lot of my co-workers see me as their bartender. I constantly let people lean on my desk to gripe about the latest issue, personal or professional. I always offer to pour them a drink, and then I slide them some candy. But on my last week? I’ve decided to bring in the booze. Give the people what they deserve. You need a pick-me-up in your coffee or coke? Come see the bartender. She’s only here for a few more days.
(I have more to say later. Right now, though, I am not in a proper emotional state to be discussing any more of my future. I am hungry.)
I walked into his office, letter in hand. I gave it to my boss, and he said, “Why am I not surprised? So does this mean you got your teaching job?”
Enter tears. “No. I don’t have a job.” (What my boss heard was “I’M CRAZY! I’M QUITTING WITHOUT A NEW JOB AND HERE! PLEASE TAKE MY STEADY PAYCHECK BACK! I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER! [Or maybe that’s what I heard.])
Actually, he was very kind to me. He offered me tissue, but then he realized he was out. (Thought that counts, right?) I explained my somewhat solid plans for the future, which include grad school and substituting. We briefly talked about my time here; he apologized for not providing me with a more solid and challenging position and he wished me the best for the future. I feel relieved to be leaving my job, but there are a lot of people that I’m actually going to miss. Sure, I have lots of great stories about incompetent people, but this is an office of 130 – there are also plenty of fantastic people.
A lot of my co-workers see me as their bartender. I constantly let people lean on my desk to gripe about the latest issue, personal or professional. I always offer to pour them a drink, and then I slide them some candy. But on my last week? I’ve decided to bring in the booze. Give the people what they deserve. You need a pick-me-up in your coffee or coke? Come see the bartender. She’s only here for a few more days.
(I have more to say later. Right now, though, I am not in a proper emotional state to be discussing any more of my future. I am hungry.)
Friday, July 6, 2007
A History of My Jobs
I just spoke with a co-worker who said she's only worked 3 jobs. She's 26, and this just seems absurd to me. I don't have anything to do today, so I thought I'd list my jobs. Turns out I had a lot.
This is also in honor of the fact that today was supposed to be my "I'm quitting" day, but as I was writing this, I got an email from the boss-man who said he wasn't coming in. So, dammit.
---
First Job: Checker at NASA. (or Kroger, whichever name you prefer to call your grocery store) This was my first real job, the first time FICA stole my money, and I had to wear a uniform. I enjoyed this job a lot, actually. I hated the idea that I worked at a grocery store, but most of the people I worked with were very funny. Or they at least thought I was funny, which automatically meant I liked their company.
Favorite Moment: My new boss had a terrible case of lazy eyes. I didn’t know this, and the first time I talked to him, he kept staring off to the side. I nearly said, “Would you please look me in the eyes?” but thank goodness I didn’t. His response would have been, “No, I can’t look you in the eyes.” And that would have been awkward.
Quitting Time: I was looking to get promoted into Customer Service but instead was moved to Video. And OhMyGod, video is, like, where the losers work. So I decided it was time to end the relationship.
Lasted: 8 months
---
Second Job: Babysitter for two children that my friend Nikki used to baby-sit. What Nikki didn’t tell me was that the younger boy was a direct spawn from Satan.
Favorite Moment: One time I locked my keys in the car and we had to sit outside in the heat waiting for my dad to save the day. It was fun watching the evil child melt. And I scored my highest bowling score that summer – 180. And that made the evil child cry.
Quitting Time: “I’m going to camp, so I think it’s best we end this now.”
Lasted: 6 weeks
----
Third Job: Hostess at Taste of Texas. This was a very established, very organized nice restaurant, and I worked with several friends every Saturday and Tuesday night. Unfortunately, we had to wear a cumber bum, bow tie, and hose. This definitely was the worst uniform I ever had to wear.
Favorite Moment: It’s a tie. At the end of each night, I’d grab a cheese roll, a regular roll, and a cup of Coke to go. Coke never tasted so good. I still quiver when I think about it. My other favorite part of the job was being Caller 1 or Caller 2. Those were the hostesses who were stationed out in the restaurant, and when a table got up to leave, she would call in on her ear piece to the front that a 6 top would be available in 2 minutes. God, I loved that ear piece. It was all very James Bond, with the cumber bum and tiny microphone.
Quitting Time: Left for college. It was actually quite sad.
Lasted: 15 months
---
Fourth Job: Secretary for Faith Community. I got to work with awesome people and do awesome things. This might be my favorite job ever.
Favorite Moment: Entertain Nicole days. On Thursdays, the pastor, youth pastor, and the other secretary had the day off. It was just Scott (who was supposed to be the youth intern) and me, and Scott spent most of the day making me laugh, because he is one of the funniest people to ever exist. Oh! This is also the summer Harry Potter came out in theaters. Scott looks JUST LIKE Harry, and I still remember the day Daniel Radcliffe appeared on Yahoo and the other secretary and I yelped because Scott! Was on the internet! As Harry Potter!
Quitting Time: Back to college. BOOO.
Lasted: 3 months
---
Fifth Job: Youth Intern at Faith Community. I played around all day with kids. I got to expense taking people to Chick-fil-a and Baskin Robbins. It rocked.
Favorite Moment: Having my brother and sister around in the youth group. They’re awesome. I also backed into the youth pastor’s truck and made a tiny dent. There was a kid in the car, and I think I said shit. She probably thought I was evil. Come to think of it, she didn’t really come back much.
Quitting Time: Again, back to school.
Lasted: 3 months
---
Sixth and Seventh and Ninth Jobs: Admin crap for my mom at her jobs, and admin crap for my in-laws.
Favorite Moment: getting my mom to buy me lunch.
Quitting Time: For school, duh.
Lasted: two summers
---
Eighth Job: Order puller at Dayspring. I showed up, was given a list of orders, and had to walk around the warehouse packing up boxes. It was awful, but I got to make my own hours, and I made pretty good money for a college kid.
Favorite Moment: I cannot think of a single good moment.
Quitting Time: I called and said, “I’m not coming in today.” The next day, “I’m not going to make it in.” And the next, “I think I’m done.”
Lasted: 4 months
---
Tenth (and final) Job: Administrative Assistant/ Marketing Assistant/ Sustainability Assistant/ Receptionist. I work for a bunch of architects and engineers, who are surprisingly helpless considering they’re able to build buildings and all.
Favorite Moment: I have a document on my computer that is a script I’ve been writing using real life office moments. I intend to submit this script to The Office, and I hope to catch some of my situations on TV one day. The script is filled with favorite moments. Here’s an excerpt:
Michael: (leaning on Pam’s desk, sighing) Hi, Pam.
Pam: (not looking up from her screen) Hi, Michael.
Michael: Listen, are you going to videotape the all staff meeting today?
Pam: No, we don’t have a recorder.
Michael: Oh, man. Because I won’t be able to hit that.
Pam: (stunned, shocked look) Oh. You know, you really shouldn’t say that.
Quitting Time: Well, I was supposed to turn in my notice today, but my boss is “working from home.” Looks like it will have to wait until Monday.
Lasted: 18 months
---
Eleventh Job: who the hell knows anymore?
This is also in honor of the fact that today was supposed to be my "I'm quitting" day, but as I was writing this, I got an email from the boss-man who said he wasn't coming in. So, dammit.
---
First Job: Checker at NASA. (or Kroger, whichever name you prefer to call your grocery store) This was my first real job, the first time FICA stole my money, and I had to wear a uniform. I enjoyed this job a lot, actually. I hated the idea that I worked at a grocery store, but most of the people I worked with were very funny. Or they at least thought I was funny, which automatically meant I liked their company.
Favorite Moment: My new boss had a terrible case of lazy eyes. I didn’t know this, and the first time I talked to him, he kept staring off to the side. I nearly said, “Would you please look me in the eyes?” but thank goodness I didn’t. His response would have been, “No, I can’t look you in the eyes.” And that would have been awkward.
Quitting Time: I was looking to get promoted into Customer Service but instead was moved to Video. And OhMyGod, video is, like, where the losers work. So I decided it was time to end the relationship.
Lasted: 8 months
---
Second Job: Babysitter for two children that my friend Nikki used to baby-sit. What Nikki didn’t tell me was that the younger boy was a direct spawn from Satan.
Favorite Moment: One time I locked my keys in the car and we had to sit outside in the heat waiting for my dad to save the day. It was fun watching the evil child melt. And I scored my highest bowling score that summer – 180. And that made the evil child cry.
Quitting Time: “I’m going to camp, so I think it’s best we end this now.”
Lasted: 6 weeks
----
Third Job: Hostess at Taste of Texas. This was a very established, very organized nice restaurant, and I worked with several friends every Saturday and Tuesday night. Unfortunately, we had to wear a cumber bum, bow tie, and hose. This definitely was the worst uniform I ever had to wear.
Favorite Moment: It’s a tie. At the end of each night, I’d grab a cheese roll, a regular roll, and a cup of Coke to go. Coke never tasted so good. I still quiver when I think about it. My other favorite part of the job was being Caller 1 or Caller 2. Those were the hostesses who were stationed out in the restaurant, and when a table got up to leave, she would call in on her ear piece to the front that a 6 top would be available in 2 minutes. God, I loved that ear piece. It was all very James Bond, with the cumber bum and tiny microphone.
Quitting Time: Left for college. It was actually quite sad.
Lasted: 15 months
---
Fourth Job: Secretary for Faith Community. I got to work with awesome people and do awesome things. This might be my favorite job ever.
Favorite Moment: Entertain Nicole days. On Thursdays, the pastor, youth pastor, and the other secretary had the day off. It was just Scott (who was supposed to be the youth intern) and me, and Scott spent most of the day making me laugh, because he is one of the funniest people to ever exist. Oh! This is also the summer Harry Potter came out in theaters. Scott looks JUST LIKE Harry, and I still remember the day Daniel Radcliffe appeared on Yahoo and the other secretary and I yelped because Scott! Was on the internet! As Harry Potter!
Quitting Time: Back to college. BOOO.
Lasted: 3 months
---
Fifth Job: Youth Intern at Faith Community. I played around all day with kids. I got to expense taking people to Chick-fil-a and Baskin Robbins. It rocked.
Favorite Moment: Having my brother and sister around in the youth group. They’re awesome. I also backed into the youth pastor’s truck and made a tiny dent. There was a kid in the car, and I think I said shit. She probably thought I was evil. Come to think of it, she didn’t really come back much.
Quitting Time: Again, back to school.
Lasted: 3 months
---
Sixth and Seventh and Ninth Jobs: Admin crap for my mom at her jobs, and admin crap for my in-laws.
Favorite Moment: getting my mom to buy me lunch.
Quitting Time: For school, duh.
Lasted: two summers
---
Eighth Job: Order puller at Dayspring. I showed up, was given a list of orders, and had to walk around the warehouse packing up boxes. It was awful, but I got to make my own hours, and I made pretty good money for a college kid.
Favorite Moment: I cannot think of a single good moment.
Quitting Time: I called and said, “I’m not coming in today.” The next day, “I’m not going to make it in.” And the next, “I think I’m done.”
Lasted: 4 months
---
Tenth (and final) Job: Administrative Assistant/ Marketing Assistant/ Sustainability Assistant/ Receptionist. I work for a bunch of architects and engineers, who are surprisingly helpless considering they’re able to build buildings and all.
Favorite Moment: I have a document on my computer that is a script I’ve been writing using real life office moments. I intend to submit this script to The Office, and I hope to catch some of my situations on TV one day. The script is filled with favorite moments. Here’s an excerpt:
Michael: (leaning on Pam’s desk, sighing) Hi, Pam.
Pam: (not looking up from her screen) Hi, Michael.
Michael: Listen, are you going to videotape the all staff meeting today?
Pam: No, we don’t have a recorder.
Michael: Oh, man. Because I won’t be able to hit that.
Pam: (stunned, shocked look) Oh. You know, you really shouldn’t say that.
Quitting Time: Well, I was supposed to turn in my notice today, but my boss is “working from home.” Looks like it will have to wait until Monday.
Lasted: 18 months
---
Eleventh Job: who the hell knows anymore?
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
How Not to Multi-Task
A note taped to the refrigerator at work: “Please use spoon to get ice. Do not use your hands; I’ve seen you do it. Eew.” For real. There is such a note, unsigned, on our fridge. I love how passive-aggressive this office is.
Here’s what grosses me out: when I see people take work into the restroom. (And by people, I mean men. Because it’s the only restroom I can see from my desk.) Please do not make changes to that document while you’re sitting and doing your thing. Because I’ve put my drawing-to- conclusions skills to work, and if a man has work with him and he’s missing in the restroom for several minutes, he must be sitting. Which, eew. My biggest fear is that the work-related thing is going to be directly handed off to me for something. And I’m going to vomit. I’ll see a colored speck in the recycled paper, and although it’s clearly the recycled part of the paper, I will immediately assume it is a particle of something because that’s how my mind works. You want to multi-task? Listen to music while filing.
So I’m going to sneak into the men’s restroom and put a poster in each stall that reads “Are you doing work in here? Are you planning on giving that to Nicole? SICK.”
Here’s what grosses me out: when I see people take work into the restroom. (And by people, I mean men. Because it’s the only restroom I can see from my desk.) Please do not make changes to that document while you’re sitting and doing your thing. Because I’ve put my drawing-to- conclusions skills to work, and if a man has work with him and he’s missing in the restroom for several minutes, he must be sitting. Which, eew. My biggest fear is that the work-related thing is going to be directly handed off to me for something. And I’m going to vomit. I’ll see a colored speck in the recycled paper, and although it’s clearly the recycled part of the paper, I will immediately assume it is a particle of something because that’s how my mind works. You want to multi-task? Listen to music while filing.
So I’m going to sneak into the men’s restroom and put a poster in each stall that reads “Are you doing work in here? Are you planning on giving that to Nicole? SICK.”
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